# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
