try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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