He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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