Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
