dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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