Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
