Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
