There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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