i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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