You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
be right there i have to get my cape
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
