Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
