Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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