what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
