I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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