good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
