how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
