apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
