id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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