Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i think im in europe. pls send help
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