like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
