I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I touched a dick in church today
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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