She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
