I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need mimosas to revive my soul
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
