my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
