He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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