i think i have two assholes
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize