When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Drunk is not a location!
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
