i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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