Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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