Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
