have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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