Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she smelled like a LAN party
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
