that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
