Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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