two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
