Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize