You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
