Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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