why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
