I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
