frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
