I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
