I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
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