We need to rekindle our bromance
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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