I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
