I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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