I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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