Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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