I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
is it fun? or sober?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
