im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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