i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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