he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
