What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
im on a boat
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