Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
