You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
