Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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