I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
