How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
