Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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