Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
